


I need you

by MusicalMassasinsXxx



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Basically, Cuddles, F/M, Mates, Nightmares, cute lil scene, nessiantrash, pillowtalk, turns into More
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalMassasinsXxx/pseuds/MusicalMassasinsXxx
Summary: Nesta has a nightmare and finds a way to protect herself.This later carries on to something that was both expected and unexpected, and the living ball of fire and the overgrown bat find eachother in the darkness, like a moth to a flame :p





	1. Bad dream

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy.  
> Also I am going to continue this so please bookmark :)

Nesta POV 

3 weeks. 6 days. That's how long I've been having nightmares. Well it's actually how long it's been since the war ended. 

It's been 3 weeks and 6 days since Elain shoved that sword into that self-righteous bastard's neck. 3 weeks and 6 days since my father died. 3 weeks and 6 days since I killed the king of Hybern. 3 weeks and 6 days since....... I touched him. 3 weeks and 6 days ago I laid myself on top of this brave male and was willing to die. So was he. He wrapped his arms around me as we silently promised to embrace death together. Together. In that moment my life did not flash before my eyes. My future did. Being in his arms, safe and secure somehow let my mind wander, my immortal life did not seem so limited, so empty anymore. 3 weeks and 6 days since he'd kissed me and my life somehow felt complete.  
\--------  
We were in the empty field, my head was booming the silence, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I needed to get Cassian away, Hybern was close but I knew if Cassian could walk he could get away, safe. I leant down beside his broken body, "Please you're too heavy I can't lift you."  
"Go!" He yelled, it broke my heart that he thought that I would, that I could, that I could leave him there.  
I leant down and whispered In his ear, "I can't."  
The words were laced with a promise, an acceptance of this unknown bond between us. We both knew it was there but with the war and everything it was hard to talk about. I saw the twinkle in his eyes amongst his broken body. His acceptance of the bond was a kiss. In the moment I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and consume myself in that kiss. In him. But Hybern was close and my Cass was whispering in my ear as if the world had stood still, his vows, his promises of finding me in the next world. I couldn't allow it. I wrapped my body around his and he wrapped his arms around my form. Together. We'd go together.  
All of a sudden I was flipped and on my back. NO. Hybern was nearing. The king took his stance. Cassian was on top of me. "I love you, sweetheart." He kissed my cheek. His wings opened as the king sent that final blast of power. Cassian shielded me with his wings. The power was blinding and we lay there for what felt like hours.

I felt empty.  
I pushed Cassian off of me and made him lay on his back.  
I felt empty.  
Cassian chest was unmoving.  
The bond between us was gone.  
I felt empty.  
And Cassian was dead.  
\---------  
I woke up.  
A dream. A dream. A dream. 3 weeks and 6 days. I still had not seen him in real life. I saw him every day in my dreams. I was too scared to see him. In my dreams he was always taken away from me. I would not let that happen in real life. But...

I couldn't keep living like this. I knew what I needed to get me through. I knew that Cass was the answer. I knew that he could heal me. I knew he knew about the bond. I knew that he cared about me not to push me and that's why he hasn't visited, but... I needed him.  
\-----  
It was half two in the morning, this was a bad idea.

3 weeks and 6 days, I repeated it, as if, if I repeated it as if the time would some how not seem so long, like I could justify why I hadn't seen him.

I debated knocking on his door but decided against it. If I could I could sneak into his bed, sleep the other side and be gone by Dawn. Plan.

I slid the door open and peered in to see my sleepy Cassian draped over the bed, under the covers. I could see the quick raise and fall of his chest and even though I knew he was dreaming unpleasantly, at least he was dreaming, at least he was alive. 

Cassian's room was just how I pictured it. Simple but... Cassian. If that made any sense. He had a dresser with a large mirror on top of it but the edging of the mirror was covered in pieces of paper, to do lists, Rhys' orders, Feyre's orders, things he needed to buy for his friends. It was like he had this huge mirror, this huge ego. But he didn't let it stop him from seeing what he thought was truly important. 

On the windowsill Cassian had a mini Cactus with a pitcher of water next to it, and a stand up sign saying "feed me". I thought that he must not have let many people into his townhouse room. He had another apartment, so I'm told, but since the war it's better for us to be closer.

I tiptoed to the bed. I stopped before the empty side and stroked the cover slightly. Deciding whether to get it. I lifted the blanket enough to get my now small form into it, and laid there, making sure to keep my distance. If I played it right, I could be out before sunrise. But...

"Nes?"  
Oh shit.  
"Cass, please just go back to sleep, I'll be gone by the morning."  
"Nes, I can't sleep when you're shaking."

Seeing Cassian again had reminded me of my dream, actually every dream I'd had for 27 days now.

"Sorry, Cass, this was a bad idea-"  
He grabbed my hand. The feeling was indescribable. How could this Male make me feel such things, how could a single touch, make me regain my sanity.  
"Nes, please tell me."  
I silently loved that nickname. But was hesitant about answering his question.  
"Well-" I didn't know how to form the words, " well, you see I've had a nightmare every single day since the war," Too much. Too much. Opening up too much. "I can't sleep, eat, walk, it's affecting me everday," too many thoughts. Too many confessions. "And, well-- um- I just thought that if I shared a bed with someone, it would protect me." And there it was. Cassian didn't need to know the whole truth. Not yet anyway.

"Nes," I looked towards his piercing gaze, still so bright in the dark. "You can't expect me to protect you when you're on the other side of the bed, can you?" His words laced with a smile. I surely but hesitantly shuffled my body towards his, and he wrapped his arms and wings, I know realised, around me. My hand was on his chest feeling his stable heartbeat. He was here. Cassian was here. My Cassian. And my head was on his shoulder, breathing him in.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I didn't know my answer. No I didn't want to talk about it, my dreams were personal and I couldn't just , let, someone In. But also...

"I dreamed we were in the field, battling Hybern." As we laid consumed by the darkness, I told Cassian of my dream, everything from the I love yous to his death. (Leaving out the Mating bond because that was a subject that could be addressed when I wasn't tear stained, or when it wasn't now three in the morning.)

Cass' chest was heaving.  
"Nes, You love me?"  
"That's what you got from the dream?!"  
We were both exhausted but just spending this time together was well worth the tiredness. He brushed a strand of hair away and looked into my eyes,  
"Nes, sweetheart, please answer the question."  
He lay on the bed in waiting for my reply.  
"Of course I Love you Cass."  
Something like relief shot through him.  
"I love you, too, Nes."  
Now my heart stopped beating. He loved me. He was surprised I Love him. How could we have been so blind to each other?  
"I've loved you ever since you stood in my house and promised to protect me. Ever since you wiped my tear away. There was something about you. It drew me closer." Oh no. Dangerous territory. Was the bond going to come up now?  
"Nes, I have something to tell you.." oh no. He's going to say it.  
"Cass, please can we talk about this in the morning."  
"But you don't even know what I'm going to sa- "  
"I know!" I shot at him, and he understood, "I know what we are, what you are to me. I just want to talk about it when I'm not drenched in my own tears." 

Cassian only pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. I felt so comforted and Loved in his grasp. So... I traced my hand up his chest and drew my thumb over his bottom lip. Cassian wasn't moving. I leaned up and gently brushed my lips against his. "Goodnight." I whispered onto his lips.  
"Night, sweetheart." He whispered back with a smile. I knew he knew where I stood with the Bond now. I fell back into my position with my hand on his chest and my head on his shoulder. He now knew I'd accept the bond, it's just something we talk about-  
"Tomorrow," he said cutting off my thoughts.

"Tomorrow," I whispered back. Falling asleep in his arms.


	2. Morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is just cute fluff basically

Cassian POV

Nesta. This woman would be the death of me. Her head on my shoulder with her hand on my bare chest. The smell of her was intoxicating, her hair smelt like apple and cinnamon and the lace in her nightgown was addictive to touch. I felt honoured to be the one to protect her, and though I'd never admit it, I was glad she'd protect me too.

Nesta POV

It wasn't how I thought. I don't mean that. Cassian was.... perfect. It's just what I thought would be my first peaceful night most certainly wasn't. Yes I was thrilled- oh my god- was I thrilled, Cassian was next to me, this utter perfect male, my perfect males, was allowing me to sleep next to him, I could barely breathe. My goodness I was nervous... 

What if he didn't accept the bond? What if he wanted to wait it out? What if he didn't actually love me? Gods Nesta! Stop being stupid.

We'll just see how it turns out in the morning.

\-------  
We stirred awake at the same time, it was like even our body clocks were synced. "Hey, you" I whispered,  
"Hey, you." He mumbled back.  
Gods his messy morning hair and his button nose. He smelt of sweat and peaches and it took all of me not to lose myself in it.  
"So...." he continued  
"So," I let out a huff and we both sat up, our backs against the headboard with my head on his shoulder still, " about this bond-"  
"Nes before we talk about this I want to tell you a story."  
I nodded against him, an invitation for him to speak.

"I was born a low rank Illyrian. my mother was a laundress and I barely had a shirt on my back to keep me warm. I had no father. No where to stay. No manners. No body. If it wasn't for Rhys I don't think I'd be here today." He paused picking up my hand gently and rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. "Rhys, secretively brought me into his home, his mother showing me so much kindness, I didn't think it was possible. Rhys and I never got a long until Az showed up and we all realised how much we needed each other.

"The blood rite, an Illyrian traditions where you're forced to survive in the harshest mountains, we fought our way to find each other knowing we'd be stronger together. My friends were and still are everything to me." His words were slow, selected, but also recited as it were from a book he'd read a thousand times over.

"It stayed that way for ages, I had Rhys and Az and Mor and Amren. We were an unrelenting , unbreakable power unit, I finally felt like I was part of a family, I loved as freely as it was given to me and I loved my life. Then the war came,

"Rhys was captured. Rhys. The battery to our power unit. When Rhys was captured the inner circle fell apart. None of us set foot in the town house for the first 3 decades, the air and the dust clinged to the scent of him and it was unbearable for any of us, even Amren, to be near that. I didn't think I'd survive long that love was lost, mourning a friend who was very much alive." 

I don't know when I stopped breathing but he caught my eye at this point and cupped my face with his hand briefly just to remind me that he was here. 

"About 30, 40 ish years into Amarantha's reign I had the urge to fly. I don't know where I was flying but my wings took me over the water and I carried on flying till I met the wall," now I knew my heart had stopped, " I found a hole and flew threw. My wings still not satisfied. It was mid autumn and I found myself in this forest, this was where my wings had taken me, I looked around, so confused. I stayed in that wood for a good few hours before I thought it best to return home." I looked at him now and the glint in his bright Hazel eyes were all I needed as confirmation to know he was talking about me. It wasn't rocket science. This was around twenty years ago, in mid Autumn. 

I had just been born.

" I didn't know how important that place would be until years later when my High lord and his soon to be mate needed to question my soon to be High-Lady's family." He gave me a small nudge, " I didn't quite recognise it at first but it clicked when I was in bed that night and in that moment I realised that it was you, Nesta, you. You were no more than a babe when I flew to the woods near your home, but my heart still yearned for it, and it all made sense. I made a promise to myself that I would do everything to protect you." He kissed the back of my hand and when I thought he was done- "When you went into that Cauldron, Nesta. I'd never wanted to see anyone more in my life. And it has killed me every day since, that I couldn't protect you from that." He finished. I didn't know how to respond. It'd been a month since the war but how long had it been since I was shoved in that Cauldron. Half a year? He felt bad for that long. I turned to face him and I reached up and pulled the back of his neck until my lips met his. If i couldn't form words to describe how much I loved him then I would have to show him. The kiss was soft and slow. I realised it was him holding back, not forcing me to do anything I didn't want to do. I might have fallen in love with him for that. I opened my mouth, allowing his access, and his tongue swiped in. Passion-filled. Our entire souls were poured into that kiss. My hands slid in his hair and his hands rested on my waist. Our bodies holding together perfectly as if, when the Gods created us, this was their soul purpose. 

After minutes. Or what felt like hours. I broke the Kiss.  
"I Love you, too," I mumbled against his lips, "bond or no bond, I would rather die than not have you in my life, Cass."  
"Well you certainly proved that when you laid on top of me and stopped Hybern from killing me." He added with a smile.  
"Oh yeah," I said with a grin, "I remember that," playing coy, I gently slid myself into his lap, with my legs either side of his hips. My hands slid around his neck and his broad hands circling my waist playing with the Lace on my nightgown. "After all, you were a damsel in distress and I thought it'd be impolite not to protect you."  
"I wanted to kill you for being so bold, Nes." He shot back, he was serious, " but when I looked into your eyes and saw so much more than bravery I just couldn't let you go." 

It was Cass' turns to break as he pulled me into another kiss, this one slightly faster than the last with a bit more urgency to it, I was drowning in him when-

"Cassian!!"  
Knock, knock

Feyre. 

"Cassian I need to talk to you, can I come in?"  
"Now's not the best time, Fey."  
"Cassian, this is serious, plus this is a 'High lady' matter not a 'Fey' matter."  
Trust my sister to barge in at the wrong time, I loved her but Gods I loved Cassian more. And with the bond throbbing between us, waiting in anticipation to see if we'd finally accept it, I didn't want to do anything than be with my mate. My mate.

Feyre barged in anyway and was greeted with quite a shock. "Nesta?!"  
Out of embarrassment I tucked my head into Cassian's chest, not wanting to make eye contact with my sister right now. I knew she was my sister and she had a mate but, I still felt the need to cover Cassian, I would not have her looking at him.  
"Yes it's Nesta," Cassian said for me, "and we're very busy at the moment, so could you please make it quick."  
I could hear her eyebrow raise as she said, "Always in such a hurry aren't you Commander?"  
Whether she was doing it to tease me or not, it got on my nerve.  
"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't speak to him like that." I said raising my head from his chest and finally looking at my sister. Cassian reached for my waist again and started with some soothing strokes, calming me down. His touch was heavenly, would this want ever end. I looked into eyes and he looked into mine and the world seemed to stand still. Feyre interupted. Again. 

"I guess it's unfortunate timing but Cass you're needed at the camps."  
"What?! Why!?" It was more anger than question, and Feyre seemed shocked by my sudden enthusiasm.  
"Because your mate is the Commander, and the only one who can set those animals in line," she looked at Cassian now, "they want to change the ways the camps are run. They think because everything else is changing maybe it's time they change too."  
"What would you like me to do, High lady?" No joking, utter seriousness, the face of the army commander.  
"Don't attack, go and hear them out and report back to Rhys and I. Stop them from killing each other too."  
The thought of death made me blood roil and he could sense that. He lifted my chin so our eyes met. A silent conversation in our minds.

I'll be fine

I know you will but I don't want to be apart from you right now

"When's the latest I can go?"  
"Tomorrow." Feyre said.  
I wanted to cry.  
"Let me come with you!" I demanded,  
"No!" Feyre said surely,  
"Ummm, last time I Checked, sister you weren't the boss of me."  
"Well the last time I Checked you are in the night court, I just happen to be High lady of said court, and you just happen to be all over my army commander, so you will listen to what I say." Feyre realised how harsh she was being, as her eyes slightly lowered. "Nes, can I speak to you alone please?"  
I didn't want to leave Cassian's side, anything could happen in those minutes I'd be away, but I nodded anyway. I slid myself from Cassian's lap and held onto his hand until our arms couldn't stretch further. I stepped outside the door into the corridor where Nesta was waiting, and I shut the door. I already missed him. Feyre grabbed my hands.  
"Look, Nes, I know this is hard for you-"  
"No feyre, you don't know."  
"Believe it or not i was in a similar position to you. After Rhys and I had mated he had to go to the court of nightmares, and even though Az and Cassian kept me company I didn't want to let him go."  
"at least you had Cassian and Azriel." I said, "I have no one, if Cassian goes then I'll be house bound again and I'll just wait around and see him. Please just leave it for a few more weeks, I need him now more than anything." I didn't cry, I wouldn't.  
"Nes, while he's away, you and I will do things ok? We'll go to the library, go dancing, I also know this little shop where you could buy a few little.. clothes.. for him."  
"I don't know Fey-"  
"Look, Nes I know you need him, but so do we."  
I hesitated before I said,  
"Fine, but two days, not one."  
"Fine Nes but no more than that. I'll write a letter to lord Devlon letting him know Cass will be there in two days. You guys have fun." She walked always and said with a wink,  
"Wait Feyre," she turned around from the stairs, "can you bring us some food?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it, please leave comments, I love feedback. :)


	3. I accept you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little in between chapter

Nesta POV

I joined Cassian back in his room, a flash of a smile graced his face. Oh how I'd miss him while he was away, only if it was for a little bit.   
"How'd it go?" He asked  
"Well, I got us an extra day, but you still have to go," he looked disappointed, I should've fort harder I should've Begged but something tells me that even that wouldn't have swayed Feyre, "but," I said cupping his face as I slid into his lap, "we have two days and I don't plan on waisting them." I smiled innocently at him,  
"So... house of wind?"  
I nodded, "one second though, Feyre should be up here soon-"

Knock knock

"Come in." I sang. Feyre queened her way across the room and set down the tray of food in the bed, she mockingly bowed before us to which I grinned and Feyre left the room, without a word. Impressive, she didn't make any sleezy innuendos.

"Nes?"  
I looked up at my mate, and I felt the bond thrumming between us, it was so real now. It pounding like a drumbeat, waiting for us to finally accept our fates.  
"Nes, are you sure?"  
"Cass, I. Love. You."  
"Oh my Gods, I love you too Nes but I don't want you to feel like you have to accept the bond."  
"I love you so much Cass, I want this, and we can take it as fast or slow as we want, just because we're mates doesn't mean we have to get married, have kids right away."  
"Have kids? You've thought about that." He looked so happy, I could see it and feel it. This. New exciting feeling that there may be a future, that he may get to be a father and that he may get to have a life outside the battlefield.  
"I never used to think about it, but I want everything with you Cass, everything and I don't care how long we wait, we're immortal for goodness sake."  
"You're perfect." He gasped   
"I try." I said with a grin. I picked up a strawberry, the fruit of love, and held it above his lips. I lowered my mouth to his ear and whispered,  
"Cassian, I accept you as my mate, my best friend and my salvation. I promise to share my life with only you. And I would endure every bit of pain I've been through if it meant that I could have this with you."  
The bond was racing, getting faster and faster. Cassian bit into the strawberry and it was real. It had always been real but the symbolism made my chest heave and I felt the tether between us, urging me to get closer.   
"I- I can feel your heartbeat," I exclaimed, I took his hand and placed it over my chest, "it's there, right next to mine." I said smiling. 

Cassian nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck and breathed in my sent, I felt so bare and raw beneath him, I couldn't hold on any longer.  
"The house of wind?" He asked  
"The house of wind." I confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say now that there will be no smut in this fanfic, just putting that out there, I don't particularly feel it's necessary to be completely honest, plus if you've read the books you know how the mating scenes go. Hell, just go read chapter 55 and replace the names :p


	4. Nesta Archeon, taking contraceptive tonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Nesta gets caught in the bath with some dubious tonic on the sink.

Nesta POV

I returned to the town house two days later, completely out of breath, and utterly satisified. Every day I found more and more reasons to Love Cassian. He was everything I needed. And I planned to make it very special for when he came back.

Cassian POV

Saying goodbye to Nesta. I never want to do that again. I kept leaning in to her kiss her. She's so beautiful, is it possible for one person to be that beautiful. It's not fair, there should be a rule or something. I was only going to be away for a week and a half, but right now a second felt like eternity. But if eternity was how long I'd have to wait for Nesta, then I would gladly wait that long.

Nesta POV

The town house was empty. Except from Feyre and Rhys who were so busy wrapped up in paperwork, I stood at the door to their office briefly watching as they worked together, it was like a beautiful dance, that only they knew, signing agreements, righting letters, not doubt talking through the bond. I knew how special that was now. Cassian. Oh no. I stifled a cry and Nesta looked up to see me standing there.   
"Nes?" She said standing up, "Nes." She repeated as she walked towards me. I broke, my tears were a water fall plummeting down my face.   
My sister enveloped me in a giant hug and I sobbed onto her shoulder.   
"Shhh, shh, it's ok, he'll be back soon." She rubbed my back, but I felt worse, I missed him so much. "What do you wanna do today?"  
"To be honest, Fey, id really love to move my stuff into Cassian's apartment, just so when he gets back, it can be ours and we can enjoy it together." I smiled at the thought of him returning. How he would bundle me in his arms, and how he'd carry me to OUR room. My mate.  
I saw Rhys shift and he said, "if you want, I can move it all in an instant it will just take a snap of my -"  
Feyre silenced him with a glance, and said something through the bond, probably about not interrupting and letting me do things for myself blah blah blah.  
"Do you need any help?" My baby sister asked,  
"I'll be fine, it's something I wanna do alone," I told her and she went to sit down but I grabbed her wrist, "but I want to go shopping tomorrow to get some.... clothes." I said with a wink.   
"You Archeon sisters are insufferable, Rhys smirked.

I sauntered upstairs, and started to pack things to take to my new home.  
\-----------  
It was nearly midnight when i knocked on the door of the town house. Everyone was sat around in the living room, quietly conversing, this was when it was alive, at night. And to my surprise, no one brought up Cassian, it was either for my sake or Feyre and Rhys respected our privacy and wanted to leave it to us.   
After staying in the living room for a while I announced that I was going to take a bath and then go to bed, not specifying what bed I would go to.

I got in the warm bath, a groan nearly escaping from me as the heat met my skin. Moving my house was something I wanted to do by myself, and so I had a lot of walking to do back and forth, since I couldn't fly, and I hadn't mastered winnowing yet.   
I sunk in the bath and closed my eyes and thought about Cassian. How had I gotten so lucky. My mate. My perfect mate. Who had fought for me, and I had fought for him. It was unbelievable how much I loved him, how much I wanted, no needed him.  
My thoughts were interupted as Mor burst in.   
"Sorry Nes, Elain spilt wine done my top, I need to clean it off." Could I not get a moments peace and quiet in this house.

I was slightly annoyed at the name she used, that was the name Cassian used for me, the was the name only he could use, but I let it not phase me.

"Nes?" Mor turned to me with a questioned look in her eyes. "Why is there a half empty bottle of contraceptive tonic on the sink?"

Shit. 

"How do you know it's mine?" I asked Coyly.  
"Well it's definitely not mine, Elain is far too innocent to have made a move on anyone, is be surprised if she actually knew what contraceptive tonic was."  
Mor huffed a laugh to herself, "and don't tell anyone I told you this but Feyre and Rhys want a child." I gasped aloud. "Shh, no-one's supposed to know, I only know because I offered to get some for Feyre, and she said no, I obviously asked why."  
Oh my goodness these far were just a bunch of gossiping busybodies.

"So who may I ask is warming your sheets? " She said with a smirk, "is that why you could barely walk when you came through the door this evening?" Mor said laughing, it was nice to see her so happy. "It's probably to get over Cass, right, poor thing has been so depressed lately and hasn't seen anyone, he left without a word."

"Excuse me." I exclaimed  
"I purely want to know who Nesta Archeon is taking contraceptive tonic for."  
"It's..... no one." I surely said, I wanted us to tell people together, and I didn't want Mor to find out whilst I was naked in the bath.  
"Just as it's not Azriel, I don't think Elain would forgive you."

Azriel and Elain, another story, but I was still up for respecting their privacy so I would let her tell me what ever she wanted.

Mor left the washing chambers without another word. My blood boiling. How dare she speak about Cassian like that. The only reason he was depressed was no one had cared to see him. No one. No one. Including me. Oh my God. It was my fault he was so upset. 

"NESTA! Why is your room empty?!"

Oh no Elain. 

"Nesta?"

Elain waltzed into the bathing room and took one look at me and I knew she knew. She was a gods damned seer for goodness sake.

"So are we gonna talk about you and Cassian or are you gonna keep it from me, big sister?"

At that moment I saw Mor peer in too and saw the hidden excitement in we face. Oh no. All I wanted was to keep it so we could tell people together and I couldn't even do that right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not that great but please leave comments I want to know what people think


	5. Chapter 5

Cassian POV

I somehow managed to escape the camps earlier than I thought. I could surprise my Nesta, I could hold her again and I could kiss her and we could finally tell our family the good news. 

But before I could greet my mate, I visited a certain jewellers in Velaris.

Nesta POV

I had been sleeping in Cassian's- our apartment since Cassian had been away, the lingering scent on his pillows gave me just the comfort I needed, and so I often slept with my head face down, inhaling the scent of my mate, drowning in him, until I fell into a deep sleep.

\----------  
I woke the next morning to the sun brightly shining through the balcony doors. When I sat up I could see his armoire, next to mine, our possessions complementing each other. As I saw the room unhaze before me as I opened my eyes, I saw our future in these rooms, our mornings getting changed, our no doubt jumping on the bed, staying up all night cuddled up in our duvet sat on the balcony whispering stories of our adventures. It was perfect. 

A sharp knock at the door woke me from my daydream. Elain and I were to go shopping today. After the run in at the town house, I had used all my power and winnowed for the first time, to a few streets away. Progress. I knew Elain knew, she's a seer for goodness sake. I also knew the rest knew but I didn't want to take away the joy of telling them. 

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

It was only Elain, I didn't bother slipping trousers on, anyway Cassian's shirt was long enough, you couldn't see anything anyway.   
I begrudgingly walked towards the front door and began to open it,

"Look, I know that you're a morning person but it doesn't mean that I-"

When I looked up I saw him, he was early, he had come back for me, he had..... roses and chocolate covered strawberries. The strawberries must've been a reminder of the accepting of the bond. 

"I'm sorry I don't approve of door to door salesmen." I said mockingly as I began to close the door with a smile gracing my lips, but Cassian was faster, one moment he was outside, the next I was pinned to the closed door of our house, our noses touching and our lips mere inches away, smiles adorning both our lips.  
"I missed you too, sweetheart."   
Our lips met in that moment, and even though we'd been apart a few days the weight of the world lifted from be shoulders as I fell more deeply in loved with him and the kiss deepened, his tongue swooped in, so much certainty and control, he would be the death of me. The kiss slowed and he pulled apart for a second only for his lips to meet the point where my neck met my shoulder.  
"I love-" a groan escaped me.  
"What do you love, Nes?"  
We were a symphony of moans and groans, speaking in between the beautiful noise we made,  
"I love how you have a cactus in your room with a sign next to it that says 'feed me'."  
At that we broke apart but we still clung tightly to each other, our foreheads pressed together, "you" he murmured, "only you would make cactus jokes in the middle of an emotional reunion."  
"Ah, but that is one of the reasons you love me commander."  
"Indeed it is, Emissary."   
I stared into his beautiful Hazel eyes as, I had to tell him that our family most likely knew about us, and even though I knew he wouldn't be mad I was still worried.  
"What is it my love?"  
"It's just- wait how did you know something was wrong."   
"Well your eyes, actually yours and Feyre's eyes. They're this stunning blue grey but whenever you're sad, they appear more grey than blue."  
"Ooh, there's nothing sexier than telling a woman of how beautiful her sister's eyes are."  
I let out a small laugh,  
"I'm sorry, my love, but please. Just tell me."

I hesitated for a second, and then.

"People know, about us."   
I couldn't tell what he was thinking, "I'm so sorry, Cass. It just all happened so fast. I was naked. And Elain spilt some wine. Mor found contraceptive tonic. Elain is a Seer. My room was empty. I couldn't control it."

He hugged me more tightly,  
"Shhh, shh" he cradled my head and rubbed small idle circles to the small of my back with his other hand. " it's okay, sure I would've wanted to tell people together, but I'd honestly be surprised if people hadn't figured it out already." 

"You're the best."

"I know."

And with that our conversation was over, we smiled as our lips met again and Cassian backed me up the stairs and into our bedroom. Making quick glances to what I'd added. 

And when he looked at the window sill he saw a second plant pot, with a Cactus in it, and a note that read 'don't forget me' he laughed, and looked into my eyes.

"This is our home." He said to me, his eyes filled with love.

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to continue this, just when is another thing. :)


End file.
